ISSUE 16 - DECEMBER 2017

CONTENTS
Lavender Review was mysteriously nominated for EBSCO academic database, and the contract was finalized in July. Thanks to Whomever made the nomination!

Lesbian poetry is largely ignored. Well, you say, what about celebrated living lesbian poets like Judy Grahn, Eileen Myles, Minnie Bruce Pratt, Marilyn Hacker, Olga Broumas, Kay Ryan, Robin Becker, Joan Larkin, Mary Oliver, Ellen Bass? Yes, and more, but there are thousands of poets publishing today, and when I look around, I don’t see lesbian poems. It’s a desert out there. I look in vain for a “she” writing about “she”—fearlessly and fully out of the closet. Perhaps this is because the poetry establishment—major literary journals, male poets, poetry professors—cannot hear, see, recognize, or value lesbian poetry. That’s a fact. Lesbian poets write on a different wavelength.

I hear your arguments in the back of my mind: How can I keep trying when nobody seems to care, when my poems are rejected even from feminist and LGBTQ journals, when lesbian poetry isn’t taught in schools? And so on. In 2016, ARTNET published some very wise words of advice to young female artists. “Try to get past the desire to have everyone like you,” one artist advised. This is also extremely important: “Become the responsible, dedicated custodian of your own work early on, even when you feel like you have no ‘career.’ Some of the most critical work you will do might come at a time when you feel like no one is watching. Don’t focus on the gatekeepers of galleries and institutions for your sense of self-worth. No one will do a better job than you of caring for your own work.” Please do care for your work. When you write a poem, save the first draft. Always save the first draft. Don’t give anyone authority over your poems, so that you feel compelled to cut, revise, or destroy them. You are the author, and you possess sole authority over your poems. Go ahead and do revisions if you wish, but save your first drafts in a file. You may need to let some time pass before you see the value, and hear your own voice, in your first drafts.

That’s the personal picture. For the larger picture, read some of the great feminist books like The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer, Sisterhood Is Powerful by Robin Morgan, The Dialectics of Sex by Shulamith Firestone, Beyond God the Father by Mary Daly, Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers by Lillian Faderman. It’s empowering to understand the scope of the patriarchal culture we live in, and the revolutionary history of feminism and lesbians. You’ll be less likely to “pander to male values” (Greer) in your poems. Your voice will become more authentic and “ultrasonic” (Daly’s term for “the vibrations of [women’s speech] too high for the patriarchal hearing mechanism”). You’ll be less crushed by the “male game” of trivializing and marginalizing your work, and the power plays of the “male cultural establishment” such as this: “And even where it must be (grudgingly) admitted she is ‘good,’ it is fashionable—a cheap way to indicate one’s own ‘seriousness’ and refinement of taste—to insinuate that she is good but irrelevant.” (Firestone) In case you’re thinking all this is old news from the 1970s, read the second paragraph of this review of Mary Oliver in the current issue of The New Yorker for a nauseating mouthful of male critics bashing a lesbian poet.

The male-dominated poetry establishment feels free to disparage us now, but lesbian poets should not feel discouraged by this and other countless jokes and exclusions. We need to remember the powerful Principles of the New York Radical Women: “We are critical of all past ideology, literature and philosophy, products as they are of male supremacist culture. We regard our feelings as our most important source of political understanding. We see the key to our liberation in our collective wisdom and our collective strength.”

Someday, the underground revolution in lesbian poetry in which I am a fierce fighter will suddenly be heard, seen, and treasured as it should be. My ears are tuned to the ultrasonic. As in life, so in poetry: I prefer lesbian poems above all others. Likewise, my eyes are tuned to the ultraviolet: I prefer lesbian artworks above all others. I’m collecting treasures here in Lavender Review. These are my kind of poems. Each poem moves me, but also I’m moved by the poets who are willing to take the side of an unpopular cause by publishing their poems in Lavender Review.


Mary Meriam, Editor
Lavender Review

ISSUE 16 - DECEMBER 2017 - CONTENTS


POETRYART
R.A. BRIGGS
Boundaries; Lesbian sex wars: not as fun as they sound

MARISSA CASTRIGNO
Eden

JESSE RICE-EVANS
Handle It

STEPHANIE SAUER
Nixtamal Mamá

MALLORY ROWE
Petits Poèmes

KAITLIN LAMOINE MARTIN
The First Time I Loved a Tornado

JEN ROUSE
Considering Characters

CSILLA RICHMOND
Gender Fucked

DANIELLE BERO
Box

SYLVAN LEBRUN
absolution

KATHRYNE DAVID GARGANO
Three poems

STEFANIE BOTELHO
Vanity Salute

TAMAR SHAPIRO-TAMIR
Autobiography

LILIAN SCATHORN
Happy 


DINAH DIETRICH
Coda; A Little Movie

EMILY CLARK
My Muse, My Sun

DEIRDRE MAULTSAID
Single White Female Seeks Same


EMMA BARNES
The Sea


LOUISE FISHMAN
Two Hearts (1981)

REBECCA ROUSSEAU
She (2015)

STU WATSON
Go to the Mirror (2017)

RALFKA GONZALEZ
Corn goddess (2011)

LOUISE BOURGEOIS
Maman (1999)

ENID YANDELL
Pallas Athena (1896)

MARGARET HAMILTON
Wicked Witch of the West (1939)

GLUCK
Hannah Gluckstein (1942)

TOVE JANSSON
Self-Portrait (c. 1939)

AMBROSIA TØNNESEN
Dorothe Engelbretsdotter, Norwegian poet (1911)

ANITA CLARA RÉE
Bildnis Frau Zoepfel (1928)

GERDA WEGENER
The Carnival (c. 1925)

TOVE JANSSON
Summer (1984)

MARIE LAURENCIN
The Kiss (1917)

ENID YANDELL
Ariadne (1911)

BERTHE MORISOT
Two Nymphs Embracing (1892)

JEN P. HARRIS
The Wind Blows Where It Wants (2017)

KATHERINE BRADFORD
Swim Team Outer Space (2015)



R.A. Briggs

Boundaries

I expect it to go on long after the revolution:
nomads roam into no-man’s land,
fashion homes.

                               Some are loping
toward the city of my birth:
high femme figures
towering tall, taller still in stilettos
or nrrrd grrrls in purple hair and cardigans
or emo boys gone punk chick
or family men, emerging at last
from the chrysalis as classy ladies.

They are running, dashing, rushing
from the harsh land of crag and thorn,
now in love with the rolling hills of their flesh
with the bazaars and salons and citizens
of the city I am leaving.

If walking toward is body language for love,
what does it mean to walk away?
Can I still send letters?
Can I carry my mother’s coat
to wrap myself in the warmth and smell of home,
a cherry stone to plant familiar fruit,
a sword to defend these borders?
And whom shall I stab?
And what if I slip, and cut out my own heart?




Lesbian sex wars: not as fun as they sound

Remember the dildo fights?  The porn crusades?
The mudwrestling—Team Butch versus Team Femme?
The beatings we dished out over sadomasochism?
The gold throwing stars with edges so sharp
they could slice a bisexual to the bone?

Remember how the personal is political 
used to be political, before it was just personal?
How we were supposed to love each other
non-violently, breathing messages of solidarity
urgently into one another’s ears?

Remember her too-short dress with the bare arms,
the struggle and tangle of her irrepressible hair?
Remember her lips?  Stop-sign red, but they could not stop
kissing forbidden places, saying all the wrong words.
Would you honestly renounce her for a theory of love?






R.A. Briggs is a professor of philosophy at Stanford, who writes poetry when they are sick of writing metaphysics. They are the author of two collections: Free Logic (University of Queensland Press, 2013) and Common Sexual Fantasies, Ruined (Cordite 2015), and their poetry has appeared in such venues as Rattle, Arc, Cordite, and Able Muse. They are currently interested in collaborating across genres, and have created multimedia artworks with visual artist Anna Zusman (Modern American Gods, Volume One), filmmaker Marc Neys (Fairytale Romance and Fear of Monsters), and composer Alex Temple (coming soon to a concert hall near you). They live with their dog Blossom, their roommate Laura, and a vague sense of foreboding.

Louise Fishman

Louise Fishman, Two Hearts (1981)
Courtesy Cheim & Read, New York. Collection of the Women's Museum, Washington DC.

Marissa Castrigno

Eden

Two flowers rise;
the first is tall and gentle.
Her petals curl back and there in her
center, a deep dark stain.

The second is open-faced and beautiful,
guarded by eruptive blossoms
and leaves on thin-lipped branches.
She has no middle.

In a dream, I am the one watered.
I stand in the garden, reaching with red-tipped fingers
as the flowers bow over me.
Am I very small?





Marissa Castrigno is a writer working in science journalism and public affairs in New York City. She is the author of an essay collection And Then Who Knows? and her work has appeared in the Huffington Post, xoJane and Bluestockings Magazine. She holds a B.A. in English from Wesleyan University and lives in Brooklyn, NY.

Rebecca Rousseau

Rebecca Rousseau, She (2015)
acrylic on canvas

Jesse Rice-Evans

Handle It

Holding on, something else I cannot do, the cannonball wedged between my shoulder blades an
anachronism, marked by its age, its inevitability, the way I knew I was already burning long before I
burned

If I blame anyone, it's probably the echo of my blonded life frozen in aging photos: me rapt with
wine at an art show (credit: Joel Fernando);  me distant with cigarette on downtown porch (credit:
Hilary Walker); me, a blur of warm aura, hair curling, ringed with sweat. Was it worth it and I know it
was, just for the trickle of bodies up and down the long back stair to my patio, the scald of
Aristocrat vodka in a smoke-ravaged throat, the warm crust of fresh fried doughnuts after a night of
photo shoots.

This relearning has come with practice: many weepy visits to doctors’ offices and therapy couches
have left me equally despondent and determined; weekly acupuncture appointments get me
spotty with cupping bruises and groggy from napping.

My green glass Mason jars swill with bitter brown tinctures of ginseng for energizing, skullcap for
headaches, fistfuls of red jasper and tourmaline in my pocket support my root chakra; I balm clove
and sandalwood across my back for loosening, chamomile for spasms, maca for hormonal
balancing; I bloom beargrass, jewelweed, my pothos tumbling an unimaginable forest, the tangle of
my heating pads a jungle of buckwheat pillows and pill organizers





Jesse Rice-Evans is a Southern poet, rhetorician, and disability activist. Her first full-length collection is forthcoming from Sibling Rivalry Press in 2019. Read her nonfiction and poetry in Heavy Feather Review, Monstering, Entropy, WUSSY, and The Wanderer, among others. She teaches queer texts and composition at the City College of New York.

Stu Watson

Stu Watson, Go to the Mirror (2017)

Stephanie Sauer

Nixtamal Mamá

You chop chiles in pieces, life in knife
strokes turns itself to laughter, lets out grief.
My countertop is made of tile, the scene
of you, illiterate in memories
of singing, mincing. Tonight I think all thoughts
in tablespoon, decoding ancient scripts
of liming, maize and beans. Androgyny
deficiencies replaced with technologies
of patience, blood. Unground beneath hands cupped,
engulfed in loving when I open up
the oven, cover woodland recipes
with coconut and cut the sugar, squeeze
in cardamom, exhaust the herb-lush soil.

Merlot simmers atop taste buds, and oil
outstretches over cast iron to find
that I evolve back, reach into your timeline,
measuring-cupped life. Your body feeds
earthward to center, spices always sealed.





Stephanie Sauer is an interdisciplinary artist and author of The Accidental Archives of the Royal Chicano Air Force (University of Texas Press). Her work has been exhibited at the NYC Center for Book Arts and De Young Museum, and won So To Speak’s Hybrid Book Award. Her writing appears in Drunken Boat, Verse Daily, Asymptote, Alehouse Press, Boom: A Journal of California, Alimentum, and is forthcoming from PRISM International. She is the founding editor of Copilot Press and teaches at the San Francisco Art Institute.

Ralfka Gonzalez

Ralfka Gonzalez,  Corn goddess (2011)
Arcylic on canvas 

Mallory Rowe

Petits Poèmes

Bite the hand that feeds
When you realize poison
Is all it offers





Scattered bits of shell
And embryo as mother
Relaxes on top





Reaching through the fog
Ready to touch anything
That might pull me out





Continue to love
Even after you've gone numb--
Feeling will return





Shoes as my island
In a sea of dewy grass
Too deep to explore





Mallory Rowe has been writing poetry for over ten years, but she is currently passionate about haiku and senryu specifically. After graduating from the University of Alabama at Huntsville with a degree in Art History and English, she continued to write poetry in her spare time. Mallory enjoys being outdoors, and she often uses her observations of nature in her work. She is also an avid reader of philosophy and science, from which she draws much inspiration. Her dream has always been to write full-time, and she feels blessed to be able to live that dream. She self-published her first book, Looking Inward: 50 Haiku for Reflection and Introspection, on Amazon as a Kindle edition in January 2015 and her second book Ricochet in 2016. She has been published in several literary magazines and online journals. She is currently working on her next book of haiku and senryu and raising her daughter with her partner in Tallahassee, Florida.

Louise Bourgeois

Louise Bourgeois, Maman (1999)

Kaitlin LaMoine Martin

The First Time I Loved a Tornado

Of course she talked incessantly.
I loved the wind within her
and mistook her noise moving across
me to mean I was with her. Does chaos
have a home? Does a shipwreck
know it’s sunk? I assume an order
to her tunnel, a logic to the path
her breath follows. I should have guessed
from the hummingbirds which fell
from her dress, 1, 2, 3, 4—
that she wanted love. I should
have known, based on her inability to be alone,
that she’d suck me right up into the middle
of her, twist me tight until my bones popped,
like soda pop lids, like a shoe hitting pavement,
like rain on anything man-made. The trees lost
their fingers, the street signs wind-chimed
themselves without strings, slapping each other
down the block like keys on a janitor ring.
Pop quiz: Sharks don’t circle to attack,
they’re trying to see an object clearly.
How to see anything when spinning
at 300 miles per hour? She hummed
counterclockwise, pulling us toward the Earth.
I forgot my name in the hinge of her hip,
tore through the whole city before I dropped
out dirty and new and thirsty.





Kaitlin LaMoine Martin was raised by a community of writers in Kalamazoo, Michigan. She’s been published in Barrow Street, Bellevue Review, and Passages North, among others. She owns a photography business, works for a non-profit, and spends hours thinking of new ways to entertain her dogs, Frida and Adam Lee Wags II.

Enid Yandell

Enid Yandell with her sculpture of Pallas Athena (1896), unidentified photographer. 
Enid Yandell papers, 1878-1982. Archives of American Art, Smithsonian Institution.

Jen Rouse

Considering Characters

I have never aligned
myself with princesses.
Of course, they are
never lesbians;
even the bookish ones
fall for the boy in the end.
I think there must be better
bargains to be struck
with evil queens. I enjoy
a murky forest,
something slightly toxic
for a nightcap, and a
snappy cape. I would
rather go up in flames
than be saved. How about
a sassy sneer, a flick
of an exquisite wrist,
and all that
disturbing backstory.
She might be someone
to kiss. It’s true, I
like a little unhappy
in my endings.





Jen Rouse is the Director of the Center for Teaching and Learning at Cornell College in Mount Vernon, IA. Her poems have appeared in Poetry, Poet Lore, MadHatLit, Pretty Owl, The Tishman Review, Inflectionist Review, Midwestern Gothic, Sinister Wisdom, and elsewhere. She has new work in the Plath Poetry Project, and is the recent winner of the Gulf Stream Summer Poetry Contest. Rouse was named a finalist by Ellen Bass in the Charlotte Mew Poetry Chapbook contest. Her chapbook, Acid and Tender, came out December 2016 from Headmistress Press. Twitter her @jrouse

Margaret Hamilton

Margaret Hamilton as the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz (1939)

Csilla Richmond

Gender Fucked

Not to sound
problematic,
although it’s likely
more complicated than that
but self-proclaimed
straight girls
love me.

There’s something
nostalgic and endearing
in my inability to
construct sexual innuendo
in a meaningful manner.

There’s something about my
squishy arms, stomach,
short round legs,
my not-too-feminine
and not-too-masculine
edges softened
with just a little mascara,
applied incorrectly.

There’s something about my
voice, hoarse but not so deep,
not so threatening
not so dykey
not so uncomfortable.

There’s something about me
that reminds them of their
high school boyfriends,
genderless, or almost.

Something that reminds them
of nights spent in the back
of shitty Hondas,
pounding PBR,
the crinkle of condom wrappers
and maybe a McDouble,
afterwards,
if he was a gentleman.

Non-threatening
easy

fun and wild
with something to prove

casual
but safe.






Csilla Richmond  is currently finishing up her BA in English Literary Studies at Humboldt State University. She hopes to continue on to get her MFA in poetry sometime soon, but until then she spends most of her time falling in love with dogs and getting paid to make mediocre pizzas. She lives with her cat, Olive, in rainy Arcata, CA.

Gluck

Gluck, 1942 (Hannah Gluckstein)
Oil on canvas 306 x 254 mm 
© National Portrait Gallery

Danielle Bero







Danielle Bero was born in Queens to hippie parents, given a dose of Silverstein, Tupac, Jazz and rock. She was the recipient of a Posse Scholarship, Daily News Unsung Hero in Education, and Teach for America. Danielle taught in Indonesia on a Fulbright scholarship, piloting the poetry program, W.O.R.D.S. that she founded at Lafayette College and in several public schools. She co-founded a school catering to foster-care students and received a master’s in English Education and Educational Leadership.  She completed her MFA at the University of San Francisco. Danielle has been a champion for slam at Nuyorican’s Poets Café, Bowery Poetry Club, Lehigh Valley slam, and Ubud writer’s festival. She’s published in New American Writing, Sinister Wisdom, Lavender Review, Quiet Lightning, and Juked.

Tove Jansson

Tove Jansson, Self-Portrait (c. 1939)

Sylvan Lebrun

absolution

how do you make it to sixteen and still believe in god
see the gash and see the blade that caused it and believe that the blade is guided by
the same hand that is giving water to a traveler
and believe that the gash is not to be blamed on one who wielded the blade, but to
be blamed on the one who received it
receivers of hurt should not apologize for their hurting (scripture 1)

how do you make it to sixteen and still believe in god
believe that you rise above the heretics who chose another story
believe that your bad deeds outweigh the good deeds of those who do not fall to
their knees
one’s worth is not dictated by who they look up to, but why (scripture 2)

I lost my faith when I renounced myself
as I was called to witness and was praised for how well the damning words spilled
from my young mouth
and I only realized I lost it when breaking unwritten rules did not feel like a mistake
when two rose-painted lips met in unforgivable prayer
no guilt sunk in my chest, only euphoria above my head I was dizzy
who I am is not for my ancestors to decide (scripture 3)

there is a difference between blood and sinew
forgotten songs run in my blood, but they cannot carve themselves through my
tissue without my permission
when we are young, we often begin to mark ourselves blindly, flay ourselves over
the sky
but then we halt
how do you make it to sixteen and continue to slice away
make only choices that can be reversed (scripture 4)

what do you think of me
you tireless laborer down the path to the heavens
I suppose you would hate me if you knew my heart
but who am I to say what words are on your sinew?
they can be revised
so can mine
kiss me and I will learn how to pray (scripture 5)





Sylvan Lebrun is a student, poet, and musician living in Tokyo, Japan. She likes to write poems about constellations, solid right hooks, and Sappho. Her work has been previously published in Crab Fat Magazine. [Note by the author, August 2020: This is a poem that I wrote and published at age fifteen, and it represents a mindset regarding religion that I do not identify with anymore. Growing up as a lesbian in a conservative Jewish congregation, there was a time where I felt alienated completely from the “god” I refer to in the poem. The Torah portion I was given to read at my bat mitzvah, Acharei Mot, was the one labeling homosexuality as a sin. This, among other things, mistakenly led me to believe that there was no way that faith and self-acceptance could coexist. Now I know otherwise. A single rigid interpretation of scripture has no right to cut me off from my heritage. LGBT+ people have been carving out their place in religious communities since before I was born, championing what is best in religion and in human nature — justice, compassion and love above all. That is an act of bravery and creation that I’m happy to be a part of today.]

Ambrosia Tønnesen

Ambrosia Tønnesen, Dorothe Engelbretsdotter, Norwegian poet (1911) 
Relief on monument by Bergen Cathedral, Bergen, Norway.

Kathryne David Gargano

a woman steps out of the ocean & begins to die

i give birth to a fever well
seafoam sick & skin /

slick / your hair cuts my tongue

i wear the water nightdress
spit up salt harbor women

in my teeth

my red red gloves /




as you love your mother’s life

take it / as i birth another mother
from my throat she crawls hands

& slick pink baby mother
i choke & the reigns say

mother mother

gorgeous tiger take her inside
i love & it’s a library i see

spines & every book cries mother 
mother & every ink between

my teeth & all the bones i eat are
mother mother blue lipped & feral




a window imagines a beautiful house

i become a box drawing outside
my portrait i am / given names

are costume bodies make note
of numbers / i imagine her

outside it’s dead inside the ceiling
begins to sink & my arms grow

weak / i hang myself a painting
of a window i see mountains & my

calves hurt / what is a woman
but a lovely peal of skylight






Kathryne David Gargano hails from the Pacific Northwest, but isn’t very good at climbing trees. She recently graduated with her MFA in Poetry from the University of Nevada – Las Vegas, and has been published in CALYX, The Fem, Indicia, and Heavy Feather Review,  among others.  Her work is forthcoming in The Colorado Review and Pittsburgh Poetry Review. You can find pictures of her three-legged pup on Instagram @peternelle3.




Anita Clara Rée

Anita Clara Rée, Bildnis Frau Zoepfel (1928)

Stefanie Botelho

Vanity Salute

I.
I pull on fishnet gauntlets.
Stella stretches on ruby red
           grapefruit lips.
I pluck stars from the cosmos to glimmer over
           each hole in each gauntlet,
dressed for the end
of the night which begins
with a hope, to end
in Stella.

II.
Fans whirl Stella’s hair over
our faces in bed. Desire
overcame fear.
Desire needs to stem from fear,
as desire is the need to own
something foreign,
and to fear
the foreign unknown
is a self-defense mechanism.
To desire
is to abandon
this stubborn self-defense.
Blades of the fan chop into Stella’s hair
to tsunami strands over
my bed, pillow, bathtub.
Stella blows out oh wow
as I wash onto shore.
Rain from the tsunami almost
fanned Stella out.
I arrange her limbs to dry
to sleep under sheets.





Stefanie Botelho is a trade journalist and poet, working and living in the Northeast. Her poetry appeared in Sentence, Slipstream Press, Connecticut River Review and other outlets.

Gerda Wegener

Gerda Wegener, The Carnival (c. 1925) Photo: Morten Pors

Tamar Shapiro-Tamir

Autobiography

My name is Tamar, and I’m fourteen…
all those commonplace details.
I am a girl…more or less.
Like my role in this year’s musical,
“The womanly fills my mind, my heart, and certain of my dreams.”
(If you know me, you probably already know this, but it’s an important part of who I am.)
Yes, I am in this year’s musical,
playing a part that seems to hold
my own secrets, longings and fears,
beneath her tough exterior.
Singing and acting is not all I do, though: I also write,
weaving pieces of myself through the stories I tell.
About a year ago, I remember telling my father:
“My life is perfect.”
As if Fate wanted to test that belief,
I fell in love.
My life changed drastically.
To protect myself,
I had to become stronger, harder.
I was sure that everyone would hate me when I came out.
But keeping secrets has never been part of who I am.
So slowly, I began to tell people.
It has been hard in some ways.
Some people didn’t believe me at first;
some relationships have been damaged
seemingly beyond repair.
But others have become closer.
I guess it’s true what people say
about how you find out who
your true friends are.
My interest in other things than romance,
the way I present myself in general,
has changed, but most people
love and accept the new me
as they did the old one.
Deep where it counts,
I’m still the same person,
passionate, thoughtful,
maybe a little crazier
than I used to be.
And I’ve come to love that person too.
Okay, maybe I’ve had more pain and confusion in the past year than in my whole life…
but also more joy and certainty.
Just as it is,
my current life is perfect.






Tamar Shapiro-Tamir wrote "Autobiography" when she was fourteen. She is now nineteen and the writer of the novel Extrema, the first chapter of which can now be seen in the Write Launch, the short story "Matthew, Mark, Luke and Jon," which can now be seen in Zimbell Press' After Effects anthology, and the poem "The Resurrection," which will be published in the Poets' Touchstone in December of 2017. "Autobiography" is Tamar's first published poem.

Tove Jansson

Tove Jansson, Summer (1984)

Lilian Scathorn

Happy

The happiest poem I’ve ever read
sits across from me at Starbucks & says
“you and happy poems just don’t get along
do you?”
& I laugh because -- I don’t know how to tell you
I could never write anything as beautiful as you are

Me and happy poems don’t get along because
I live my happy
It is frail & hard-won
& I don’t want to miss a single second of it
But my happy is not beautiful
It is small, ordinary, nothing to write about

My sadness -- It demands to act, not just be seen
Like quicksand. It pulls me under so I
Write lines like grappling hooks to pull myself out of the pit
I open my mouth & all you can hear is the scraping
My pain is like years of old garbage piled up in the attic
I sift through it every so often
To find what can be recycled into my newest insecurities

Instead I find a scared little girl
And I carry her out on my back
Scared of loving too much // scared of being too much //  who had lost too much but
oh boy, does she love you
Despite my begging her not to jump into your arms
She was already there, but you
Are a prescribed burn, turning everything I knew into fertile soil
Just the serum needed to soothe my creaking wooden bones
You burn away at all my trauma in the underbrush
Create a home for the seeds that couldn’t live without your heat
Your light, like a torch,
Maybe that’s why I can’t look at you for too long.

As I drowned in that burning house
I told myself I’d never hold you responsible for keeping me warm
Told myself
Nature would have done it anyway
You just sped up the process
Remind myself you will burn yourself out someday
And I will continue to grow

But for now,
I want to take lines from every love song & romantic poem ever written
Weave them into a cocoon of your love
For the times when the smoke fills my lungs
When I can no longer speak my own words
Because they remind me of you, loving me in all the right ways
They remind me
This love doesn’t have to be permanent as long as it’s real
They remind me
There are so many different kinds of love &
You are every one of them

So maybe me and happy poems don’t get along
But that’s because none of them can compare to you
The happiest poem I’ve ever read.






Lilian Scathorn is a poet and author from Las Vegas. She is getting two Bachelor's degrees from the University of Colorado in the spring and currently calls Boulder, CO home. She works closely with and has been published in Spit Poet, a community led poetry publishing project that empowers poets to distribute their work as a team. She is currently working on her first novel and chapbook. When she isn't writing, she's going to poetry readings or working with kids with special needs. Twitter her @loony_lili

Marie Laurencin


Marie Laurencin, The Kiss (1927)

Dinah Dietrich

Coda

   Sleep knits up the raveled sleeve of care
             ~ William Shakespeare

I lie down on my familiar bed
Give up the weight of life
Let go slowly
to the feeling of floating
In sleep, the sweetness
of forgetting

I suck on the lozenge of sleep
the lozenge of forgetfulness
Sleep is a drug
the ecstasy of forgetting
Sleep is a wafer
on my tongue
let it dissolve

Am I looking for closure?
This is the coda of my life
the refrain repeats
I suck on the teats of sleep,
the full teats of sleep
The coda of my life
In the end, the refrain repeats




A Little Movie

A little movie runs through my mind
There you are, you you you
There is an expanse of skin
unclothed, I touch with my fingers
learning like braille the feel of you
little kisses all over your breasts
big mounds of pleasure tipped with dusky
plum nipples, inverted nipples
that I suck gently, then very hard
please suck them please suck them you say
this is my first truly erotic poem
plums remind me of you






Dinah Dietrich  lives and writes in Scotia, New York. She holds a B.A. in writing from Bennington College and an M.A. in Literature from U.Mass./Amherst. She is the author of PAPER CRANES (Headmistress Press, 2015). Her Pushcart Prize-nominated story, "The Woman Who Couldn’t Stop Screaming," was published in 2012 in Recovering the Self Journal. She has several other publications of individual poems, as well as a column "A Love Letter to My Muse" in elephant journal.

Enid Yandell

Enid Yandell, Ariadne (1911)

Emily Clark

My Muse, My Sun

Water around you is like
apples falling off the tree
and landing a little close.

Move you into my lap
let your body
your legs
your back arch.

I hold you purely
as if you were silk taffeta
Rose quartz on a shelf.

I like to feel powerless
as if I were floating
on a great ocean
and you were my Muse,
my Sun.

When we lie naked
I click your hand in mine
Let your tongue loosen my lips
before I bite.

It’s pure revelation
this skin.

I’m wearing pure
darkness on my sleeve
like rhythmic night
or peyote in the crescent deep.

I steal kisses and hope you swear
to Me alone.

I’m your Holiday forever.

Your body swells into my palm
Skin soft, rising under the sheets.

They make noise, too.

Shifting with your shaven legs
my eyes begin to see
what life was like in the beginning.

If I could only lie here inside you
forever

I would disappear.






Emily Clark is a published writer from Southern California and author of a new poetry collection, Art Triumphant. She’s currently on a multi-state tour promoting her book. She has performed and offered writing workshops in over a dozen venues in six states including The Victory Theatre and Beyond Baroque in Los Angeles, Mohawk Falls in New Hampshire, SoHo in Santa Barbara and The Aspen Poets’ Society in Aspen, Colorado. Her poems have appeared in The Sow’s Ear Poetry Review, A! Magazine for the Arts, Askew Poetry Journal, Ventura’s Emerging Poets, Sketches of Home, Aspen Daily News, Spectrum and will soon appear in Cultural Weekly. Her articles have appeared in The Acorn Newspapers and VCReporter.  She’s worked as a writer on several commercial film projects such as: Voodoo Kitchen with Director James P. Lay, (Fight Club, Jeepers Creepers, Meet Joe Black)  “This is the Frequency” with Double-Emmy Award winning screenwriter Simon Moore (Traffic, The Quick and the Dead, Gulliver's Travels), Inside the Grace, Missing Lunch, PinkCity, featuring Kether Donohue (You're the Worst, Grease Live!, Pitch Perfect.) Superstitious Man, (Ivana Jovanovic) The Hunt, and Red Bull Gives Wings. Emily teaches poetry workshops in Southern California to elementary, middle, and high school students through California Poets in the Schools and published a collection of her student’s poetry called Tasty Little Samples in 2016.

Berthe Morisot

Berthe Morisot, Two Nymphs Embracing (1892)

Deirdre Maultsaid

Single White Female Seeks Same

I am featured on a plinth of marble:
glass blown, my own technique, bold swirls of purple.
Says the inscription, wreathed around the bubble
“lay down your life for a friend in trouble.”
No.
I only make beauty. I entitle.
I demand moral unity for this social circle.
What I know, its patterns, must be universal.
I deny The Poor their grenades, leave them in the rubble.
I am blind to gendered rage, chains, girdles.
The panic romance is girl duty, churches.
I make art, real trouble.
If I let too much light in, I will burn up, the death knell.
I put my hands up, still.
I let some the light in; it bows and arcs; I am so vital.





Deirdre Maultsaid has been published in The Barcelona Review, Canadian Women’s Studies, Canthius, CV2, the Danforth Review, Other Voices, Pif, Prairie Fire, the Puritan, and others. Her essay, “The sun knows what it does” appeared in the anthology, Double Lives (McGill-Queens University Press) She is a queer writer living in Vancouver, Canada. Twitter her @deirdmaultsaid

Jen P. Harris

Jen P. Harris, The Wind Blows Where It Wants (2017)
Ink and acrylic media on stretched paper 40x30 inches

Emma Barnes

The Sea

I have decided to become
something new,
perhaps appalling,
so that the space I once occupied
remains only
foaming and blue.

I want to be put into a still
place, same as you—
only I want to be
without words in my mouth,
no longer doubtful,
my foreign hands
resplendent
under the frothing surface;
raw as a consequence of
having to ask you to be
something more,
always more.

Between storms,
I float thinly on the surface,
reflecting on the parts
of me that have grown elsewhere.
With the tide in my teeth
I think carefully to myself,
how fearful you must have been
at my threat to open you.

This new fluidity of mine
strikes your feathered bones,
bends you into resistant shapes,
and I imagine that I do not respond
to your deliberate grief
as you watch me walk further,
deeper,

descend into the parting waves.






Emma Barnes is a third-year undergraduate student studying English and Anthropology at the University of Maine. Growing up in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Emma learned to cherish poetry from the passion and work of mother and oldest sister. As she works towards completing and publishing her first chapbook, Emma hopes to earn her Bachelors degree in 2019, and to continue on her path towards earning her Ph.D in English.

Katherine Bradford

Katherine Bradford, Swim Team Outer Space (2015)