ISSUE 11 - JUNE 2015

CONTENTS
Issue 11 is dedicated to Lillian Faderman, whose 1979 groundbreaking essay, “Who Hid Lesbian History?” begins with one of the reasons I started Lavender Review: “Before the rise of the lesbian-feminist movement in the early 1970s, twentieth-century women writers were generally intimidated into silence about the lesbian experiences in their lives.” This silence still lingers in the twenty-first century poetry establishment, but not here in the pages of Lavender Review.

On Valentine’s Day, Headmistress Press proudly published Lavender Review: Poems from the First Five Years, this e-zine’s first, but hopefully not last, foray into print.

Congratulations to Cassandra Langer on her new book, Romaine Brooks: A Life. Check out Romaine Brooks subverting the girlie calendar as Ms. June and get a taste of Langer’s beautiful writing HERE.

On June 27, Gay Pride Day, Headmistress Press will be releasing Lady of the Moon, with poems by Amy Lowell and me, and an essay by Lillian Faderman. Lisa L. Moore blurbed the book “a remarkable erotic and poetic event.” Watch the book trailer.

Headmistress Press, an independent publisher of books of poetry by lesbians, is having its first annual Charlotte Mew Chapbook Contest. Meg Day will select first-prize, and the winner gets $250. Submissions are open through July 4, 2015. Click here to submit at Submittable. Click here for more info.

Speaking of Submittable, beginning on June 1, 2015, please send all submissions to Lavender Review through Submittable. Click here to submit.

Mary Meriam, Editor
Lavender Review

ISSUE 11 - JUNE 2015 - CONTENTS


POETRY ART
RISA DENENBERG
So,

LYNN STRONGIN
Tiger, you caught me by the tail

RICK MULLIN
Still Life with Rose in a Crystal Vase

MARY KATHRYN ARNOLD
Neither Babylon Nor Byzantium (Ode to Oblivion)

CAROLYN BOLL
Sweet Honey Husbandry

ALIX GREENWOOD
Of “Wild Geese”

RENÉE VIVIEN TR. SAMANTHA PIOUS
The Silent Flute (La Flûte qui s’est tue)

R. NEMO HILL
Sacrosantum

ZARA RAAB
A Daughter’s Thoughts after Her Mother's Death

JESSICA HYLTON
Eros, Psyche, and Plumbers.

JANICE GOULD
Steilacoom

JENNY IRIZARY
Fiona

FORREST EVANS
Pining for Persephone

CHARLOTTE MEW
Selection
TERRY CASTLE
Dyke Drama (2015)

CHRISTINA SCHLESINGER
Tomboy Treasures (1994)

MARY DELANY
Amaryllis Sarniensis (1775)

LISA KOKIN
Physical Difference Found in Lesbians (1999)

JEAN SIRIUS
Orange, Left and Orange, Right (c. 1996)

MARY KOENEN-CLAUSEN
Dreaming in the 5th world (2012)

MARIE LAURENCIN
Le modèle au drapé bleu (c. 1885-1956)

PAULA MODERSOHN-BECKER
Clara and Paula ringing church bell (1900)

CAROLYN BOLL
Alice Inside (2015)

FLORINE STETTHEIMER
Detail from Euridice and her Snake (c. 1912)

LAUREL LAMPELA
Water Ghost at Tent Rocks (2013)

ANGELINA FERNANDEZ
control my dreams (2014)

IMANI SHANKLIN ROBERTS
Black & Gold (c. 2014)

JULIE FRANKI AND RITA MAE REESE
The Margin is for the Holy Ghost (2015)


Risa Denenberg

So,

my mind was leaving for California the next day
without prospects for job or roof or bed
just fleeing, having had enough
of whatever it was I was looking for but not finding in Seattle
when, in a flash, I was at a dinner party
with 2 women, then 6 women, a whole cabal of women
with little cone hats and a cake, some bubbly, and later
someone had to walk me home in reverse, I’d lost my way
and my shirt had come undone
and there was a kiss, chaste, and I shut the door
afraid of more








Risa Denenberg lives on the Olympic peninsula in Washington State. She is a moderator at The Gazebo, an online poetry workshop; reads poetry for the American Journal of Nursing; and is a co-founding editor at Headmistress Press, an independent publisher of books of poetry by lesbians. Risa's most recent books are In My Exam Room (The Lives You Touch Publications, 2014) and blinded by clouds (Hyacinth Girl Press, 2014).

Terry Castle

Terry Castle Dyke Drama (2015) Gallery

Lynn Strongin

Tiger, you caught me by the tail

Now things pale

In the telling.

The storyline, its Kokab shaky as a one-year old;

But it is my only way of doing things

A skipping boat calmly, right hand steady on the tiller

Thoughts in agitation.

I am close to you but I peer out at the vast dark sea

Pointing with my index finger

At total fear.

The Rubicon. The faraway.

Do you hear my footfall?

It comes from before our sorrowing days.

Across the hallways and valleys the voice carries

That holds the jug of mercies, betrayals promises

Up to the brim:

Water reflective always.

And now she gives me a clue that she loves me

& all’s calm:

Alabama reflected in water,

The pillowslips ironed.

Only the sudden bolt of lightning

In the darkening southern night is frightening

As bleakness suddenly without sound brightening.

Standing at the ironing board

Or sitting in the rocking chair her tallness overwhelms me

Like Eleanor Roosevelt.

But her teeth are even although with a gap.

O rocking horse love we are given too short a time to love

Although it be a gumdrop a clothesline length

Too snapped in half

Although it be a lifeline.








Lynn Strongin, born in 1939 in New York City into a middle-class Jewish family, contracted polio at age 12. She attended the Manhattan School of Music, Hunter College, and Stanford University, where she earned a Master of Arts in literature. In the 1960s, she lived in politically active Berkeley, collaborating with Denise Levertov, who described her as a “true poet.” Stongin has published more than a dozen books and her work appears in 30 anthologies. She has received grants and fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts, American Association of University Women, and PEN American Center. Countrywoman/Surgeon was nominated for the Elliston Award in 1979 and Spectral Freedom for a Pulitzer Prize in 2009. In 2015, Headmistress Press published her poetry collection, The Burn Poems, which Alicia Ostriker called “fascinating work.”

Christina Schlesinger

Christina Schlesinger, Tomboy Treasures (1994)
oil and mixed media (cloth -- cotton printed material) on canvas
24" x 30"

Rick Mullin

Still Life with Rose in a Crystal Vase

Once again love drives me on, that loosener of limbs,
bittersweet creature against which nothing can be done. ~Sappho

Feeling all the butterfly years, the seven
rays of windowed solitude in Manhattan
settle on your shoulders about the kitchen,
wouldn’t you call me?

Surely I’m the confidant you’d remember.
One whose shattered letters and hidden poems
light the detailed minutes of furtive meetings.
Haven’t I told you

how your West Side garret by day disguises
earthly flesh in shadows that hold no value
set against the elegant moon that waxes
into the morning?

How I see you lingering at the table,
face and hands composed in a Goya etching?
How my heart inclines in a thorny tangle,
bleeding in doorways?

No. This heart shall never unwind its rose of
fifteen years, its labyrinth of devotion,
hands that fold and lips that maintain their rigor,
always this yearning.

Nor could I dismantle the love that anchors
worlds within the chrysalis of my armor,
thunder in the beautiful code of silence
cut from the garden.

Seeing how a dream will unfold like petals,
might we say our time is a mist that rises?
Might the truth arrive in a masque of madness
carrying flowers?






Rick Mullin’s latest volume of poetry, Sonnets from the Voyage of the Beagle, was published last year by Dos Madres Press, Loveland, OH. His work has appeared in various journals, including The New Criterion, Measure, Ep;phany, and American Arts Quarterly. His poems have also appeared in anthologies, including Irresistible Sonnets (Headmistress Press, 2014) and the forthcoming Rabbit Ears: The First Anthology of Poetry About TV (New York Quarterly Books).

Mary Delany

Mary Delany, Amaryllis Sarniensis (1775)
(Hex: Mono:), from an album (Vol.I, 31); Guernsey Lily.  
Collage of coloured papers, with bodycolour and watercolour, on black ink background
© The Trustees of the British Museum

Mary Kathryn Arnold

Neither Babylon Nor Byzantium (Ode to Oblivion)

1. You don't need amphetamines or Tabasco sauce
 to keep you awake. It's like the brawny blond boy
 in the baby blue t-shirt said at the support

group: "No one can make me go down," tanned muscles
bulging out of his thin cotton shirt. They can't get
you to switch off either—the drugs, the friends, the miles,

the exhaustion, the useless tools and strategies.
Sleeping is the only love. You said it, David
Berman. I saw God's shadow on the wall too.

Existentialism is for the young (tell that
to Simone deBeauvoir in her heartbreak). L'enfer
c'est moi. Sufficient unto the day is the evil

thereof. Even your mantra cannot abate this
rouncible state of trouble. But what of the days
which dissolve into nights which grind into

one another, so many teeth ground down to
the nerve endings. There is no sufficiency;
only evil, unto the end of this problem.  

Who knows who turns the pages of the cellist's sheet 
music, what nail blows the tire on the car making its 
way through the night's deserted highway, where the 
skeptic gets her instinct to question, when then becomes 
now, how come the specks of air between wick and flame,
why does the storm quiet after raging on and on?

2. When you're better, when the time is back into joint,
you see the musical instruments, some more ravaged
by time than others, behind the glass at the Sally Ann

half-price sale amid the picked-over racks of clothes,
the only valuable things in the store, speaking their silent
truth, the young forlorn men looking longingly through

the glass while their slim young girlfriends try on endless
rounds of discarded clothes that fit so well they can't
make a decision: music is the only love.








Mary Kathryn Arnold lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Her work has been published in America and Canada.

Lisa Kokin

Lisa Kokin Physical Difference Found in Lesbians (1999) 
Detail from altered book (Betsy and the Boys
mixed media collage, thread, 9 x 6.5 x 2 inches

Carolyn Boll

Sweet Honey Husbandry

You sweet Sue
are truly the apple of my
no longer
roving eye

You sweet Sue
are truly the dance of my
life that has brought me
to you

You sweet Sue
are truly my mate my soul
my passage into
the beyond

You sweet Sue
are truly the honey
of my
hungry hand

for it is this hunger that set me
on this path towards you
and it is this hunger that
led me to know my own
appetite

and eating of the vine I
tasted testing for my truth
until that one drop told me
my truth was and is
you

Sweet honey husbandry
administering to our own home
and pleasure droplets of
dew and down and waking making
bread sweet breads or
herbal or spiced grains
of receptivity and reciprocity
an exchange and economy of
kisses

strokes and larder
femme and fodder
we compliment each other daily
upon our appearance
upon opening
our eyes

though in the night
we have travelled
together breathing our passages
open to far worlds

count me in count me in
we two a household embrace of rooms and mating

honey get the honey
so that I might lick you
one last time before tea

sweet honey husbandry
sitting down to talk
we still smell each others’
appetite completed

complimenting each other
as we sit down to talk
oh how we imagine this
nest castle honey combed
lattice might be

administered swallowed
drunk down from wee cups
tilted upwards our lips
telling all

You sweet Sue
and I dear me
agree to love honour
and feed each other
always with all the
best each of us has
to offer the other

You sweet Sue
and I dear me
will drink and flirt and
wait for our place at the mirror

dressing
to go out.








Carolyn Boll is from Montreal, Quebec, and the recipient of Canada Council for the Arts, and Quebec Arts et Lettres grants as an independent dance artist. Her love of movement, words and hybrid art, are at the centre of her work. She has collaborated with a variety of visual artists and performers resulting in shows and exhibitions in Austin, Vancouver, and Montreal. “An excerpt from backbone: the tao of the dictionary,” an experimental word collage, was published in Post: Nomadisme et Trafic des Cultures, and presented at Studio XX, Montreal’s art and technology salon for women. A graduate of the Humber School for Writers mentorship program, she worked with Karen Connelly on her novel based on her childhood as a tomboy ballerina. Her first published poem, Terpsichore Two-step (I love to foxtrot with you) appears in the Muse Issue of Lavender Review. She lives in the village of Pointe-Claire, Quebec, with her wife, Sue.

Jean Sirius











































Jean Sirius, Orange, Left and Orange, Right (c. 1996). From Seeing Double

Alix Greenwood

Of “Wild Geese”

But I wonder if perhaps we should
Walk a hundred miles on our knees
Through the desert. Repenting.
For the world that does not go on.
Clear rain, deep trees, clean blue air —
I don't know what such language means,
For these are not now simple things.
That world has gone.
Chemistry will be eternal,
Stars will burn, this planet morph
Maybe to red dust, there will be
Black holes and supernovae;
But here, now, our poor soft animal bodies
When we love, find perhaps, sometimes,
Some comfort, but also pain —
We might look up
And see only one goose flying —
True, the truest thing, trusting, for now,
But seeking in an empty sky.








Alix Greenwood is a lesbian living in Oakland, California. Her poems have appeared in Lavender Review, Rain and Thunder, Sinister Wisdom, and Three Line Poetry.

Mary Koenen-Clausen

Mary Koenen-Clausen, Dreaming in the 5th world (2012)
Mixed media collage. Gallery

Renée Vivien translated by Samantha Pious

The Silent Flute

Ardently I listen to my singing,
The little faun with timid eyes and proud.
The soul of woodlands dwells between my teeth,
The god of rhythm lives within my mouth.

In this forest, far from prowling Pan,
My heart is sweeter than a rose in bloom;
The rays of sunlight, charged with happy scents,
Dance to the music of the verdant flute.

Mingle your tresses, join fair arm in arm,
While at your feet, the ram snorts in the hay,
Ye hedgeland nymphs! Oh, come not near!
Go take your laughter elsewhere while I play!

I hold my sacred art reserved, apart.
In honor of the haughty Muse I follow,
I will seek the shade, and I will hide
My thrilling pipes within an oak tree’s hollow.

And I will play, in shadows and in scents,
The livelong day, while waiting for the time
Of rowdy choruses and common games
And naked breasts the night breeze brushes by …

And yet my loyal, holy song I still
While the festival exults in firelight.
Only the night wind will know my pain,
The trees alone will witness my delight.

So I guard my lovely times from you
Whose goat-eyes spy upon my lonely trysts,
My friends! Go laugh somewhere else
While this singing flowers on my lips!

If not, well then, I’m a faun, after all,
And as for any billy-goat who bucks,
Then I’ll avenge myself with hooves and horns,
With one good blow I’ll lay him in the dust!


Extinguished Torchflames, 1907

*

La Flûte qui s’est tue

Je m’écoute, avec des frissons ardents,
Moi, le petit faune au regard farouche.
L’âme des forêts vit entre mes dents
Et le dieu du rythme habite ma bouche.

Dans ce bois, loin des aegipans rôdeurs,
Mon cœur est plus doux qu’une rose ouverte  ;
Les rayons, chargés d’heureuses odeurs,
Dansent au son frais de la flûte verte.

Mêlez vos cheveux et joignez vos bras
Tandis qu’à vos pieds le bélier s’ébroue,
Nymphes des halliers  ! Ne m’approchez pas  !
Allez rire ailleurs pendant que je joue  !

Car j’ai la pudeur de mon art sacré,
Et, pour honorer la Muse hautaine,
Je chercherai l’ombre et je cacherai
Mes pipeaux vibrants dans le creux d’un chêne.

Je jouerai, parmi l’ombre et les parfums,
Tout le long du jour, en attendant l’heure
Des chœurs turbulents et des jeux communs
Et des seins offerts que la brise effleure …

Mais je tais mon chant pieux et loyal
Lorsque le festin d’exalte et flamboie.
Seul le vent du soir apprendra mon mal,
Et les arbres seuls connaîtront ma joie.

Je défends ainsi mes instants meilleurs.
Vous qui m’épiez de vos yeux de chèvres,
O mes compagnons  ! allez rire ailleurs
Pendant que le chant fleurit sur mes lèvres  !

Sinon, je suis faune après tout, si beau
Que soit mon hymne, et bouc qui se rebiffe,
Je me vengerai d’un coup de sabot
Et d’un coup de corne et d’un coup de griffe  !


Flambeaux éteints, 1907






Samantha Pious is pursuing a Ph.D. in Comparative Literature at the University of Pennsylvania. Some of her work has appeared or is forthcoming in Mezzo Cammin, Lunch Ticket, broad!, Gertrude, and other publications.

Renée Vivien (née Pauline Mary Tarn, 1877-1909) was a lesbian writer who made her home in Paris during the Belle Époque. In 1903, she courageously "came out" by publishing a volume of adaptations from the poetry of Sappho under the feminine form of her chosen name. Rewarded with public scorn and outrage, she continued to publish her work over the next six years until her early death at the age of thirty-two.

Marie Laurencin


Marie Laurencin, Le modèle au drapé bleu (c. 1885-1956)

R. Nemo Hill

Sacrosantum

Pale and panting, he hissed the word “Sacrosanctum” several times at us.

                                              —Paula Modersohn-Becker
                                                   (Letter to her Mother, Worpswede, 1900)

Respectable—both pressed in pale
and proper Sunday white—
until that restlessness we’d learned
from stands of wind-stirred birch
uprooted us at last: to search
for angels whose white dresses
would dance with ours in church.

We found the sanctuary locked,
the hour too late for worship.
And so we climbed the open tower
and sat beside the bells,
held in silence on the swells
of color heaved by distance—
awash like two white shells.

Impervious, those planes of light!
Opaque! But just as strong
our impulse to escape the hues
that veiled unanchored space,
to swing free from the weight of place
by clinging to a bell-rope
in a blur of lace.

Clara and I, we rang the bells,
feet lifting from the floor,
unshored, unmoored from solid things
—by sound’s waves undefined—
our slackened curves and penciled spines
quick-sketched with bold transparence
in smudged-by-laughter lines.

Descending, we’d heard shouts of, “Fire!”
—but flameless was our scandal
in the sanctum of the insubstantial:
each branch stripped bare
each charcoaled figure shivering there,
each skein of bones, exposed,
still vibrating in air.

The parson’s mouth, a line downturned.
Stern neighbors, flushed in ash.
When through the heath, in pallid brushstrokes,
music’s motion faded—
one soul, alone, remained elated:
the hunchbacked girl who sits
outside, and peels potatoes.

No more than a bleached bundle of
unnoticed lines before—
she smiled now, bell-burned ear to ear,
till color was restored.
Through her delight all colors poured.
Now I must paint her, listening,
listening at the door.







R. Nemo Hill is the author of a novel, Pilgrim’s Feather (Quantuck Lane); a book-length poem based on an H.P. Lovecraft story, The Strange Music of Erich Zann (Hippocampus Press); a chapbook, Prolegomena To An Essay On Satire (Modern Metrics); and a collection of poems, When Men Bow Down (Dos Madres Press). He is the editor of EXOT BOOKS.

Paula Modersohn-Becker

Paula Modersohn-Becker, Clara Westoff and Paula Modersohn-Becker ringing church bell (1900)

Zara Raab

A Daughter’s Thoughts
after Her Mother's Death

One small, beaten copper bowl,
child-sized and mottled green.
One smooth stone from Devon.
My mother's—ashes of her bones.
A battered Master Poets, un-seamed.
A suitor's ring from long ago.

For a woman of undetermined class,
each of these, a residuum
of her fall from an imagined place.
Once I mourned each missed chance,
grieved for every malfunction
and crossed happenstance.

Now I study her pictures, just two:
Manse beside a cistern on a hill.
(Once home? I'll never know.)
Two children in a metal locket—
these I know—a slender boy and girl
resting together in a leather wallet.

But this trove isn't all.
Gyrating filaments stowed
like lines at sea or on the Eel,
replicated, then slipped into a vial—
these are her remnants as well,
mine, wherever I go.







Zara Raab’s latest book is Fracas & Asylum. Earlier books are Swimming the Eel and The Book of Gretel, narrative poems of rural California. Her work, including book reviews as well as poems, has appeared in Verse Daily, River Styx, West Branch, Arts & Letters, Crab Orchard Review, Critical Flame, Prime Number, Raven Chronicles, and The Dark Horse. She is a contributing editor to Poetry Flash and The Redwood Coast Review. Rumpelstiltskin, or What’s in a Name? was a finalist for the Dana Award. She lives in western Massachusetts.

Carolyn Boll

Carolyn Boll, Alice Inside (2015)

Jessica Hylton

Eros, Psyche, and Plumbers.

Plumbing lines never get me horny
But yet that’s what the poor sap
Trying to pick me up prattled
About for at least half an hour
Before you came in with your hips
Directing the tempo of the music
Pouring out of the jukebox

I thought fast—trying to figure out
A strategy to get away from the guy
Trying to snake my uterus
When you clogged his advances
Sliding your thighs on top of mine
Once you had flushed a chair out for yourself
You climbed off my lap
Neither one of us willing to so openly test
Aphrodite’s patience.








Jessica Hylton writes most of her poetry while driving. She has wrecked three cars, but she finished her dissertation. Her work has recently been featured in Cliterature, Visceral Uterus, and The Alarmist.

Florine Stettheimer

Florine Stettheimer, detail from Euridice and her Snake (c. 1912)
Costume design for the artist's ballet Orphée of the Quat'z Arts
Oil, beads, and metal lace on canvas

Janice Gould

Steilacoom

I’m driving to Steilacoom
in the blue VW bug
I bought with my cannery wages.
I’m driving there because
you told me you like that word.
“Steilacoom, Steilacoom,”
you would say.  Not much
in that Indian place,
but I’m driving north
because you might be there,
standing by the tracks, contemplating
the water that laps against the cold shore.
Because winter is a desperate time—too much
rain, too much snow—and friendless—
too many shadows, too much alone.
Maybe in Steilacoom we will embrace.
How many years I wished for that!
Perhaps in Steilacoom you will take
my hand, forgive my inconsistencies,
sit with me, watchful, till a sudden sun
pours down its light,
brightening Puget Sound, offering
a far view of mountains, beckoning
and proud.  Beyond that I want nothing.
Only to see you in Steilacoom,
Steilacoom, only to find you
in that town.








Janice Gould’s tribal affiliation is Koyoonk’auwi (Concow). Her poetry has been honored with a “Spirit of the Springs” Award, by the National Endowment for the Arts, the Astraea Foundation, the Pikes Peak Arts Council and the School for Advanced Research in Santa Fe. Her most recent book of poetry, Doubters and Dreamers, was a Colorado Book Award Finalist and a Milt Kessler Book Award Finalist. Janice is an Associate Professor in Women’s and Ethnic Studies at the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs, where she directs the certificate in Native American Studies. She is the Pike’s Peak Poet Laureate for 2014-2016.

Laurel Lampela

Laurel Lampela, Water Ghost at Tent Rocks (2013) 
photomontage pigment print on Arches, 17 ⅜ x 12 in.

Jenny Irizary

Fiona

In sixth grade, Karen realized that communing with a dead girl named Fiona by Ouija board
could distract classmates from screaming, “You’ll be gay like your dyke moms!”
Instead, they interrogated the bitter ghost about her untimely demise.
First, she claimed her boyfriend hammer-crushed
her skull in the hallway where our classroom now stood.
Then she reported being murdered with a different weapon nearly every spirit board session.
Fiona insinuated that she had gotten her revenge
when someone suggested she “Get over it”
and a boy Karen liked repeated what his father told his mother before taking her to the hospital,
“You just like to make men get angry.”
Some kids still whispered the séances were “gay,” and I almost participated,
envisioning gatherings like the goddess fairs full of beautiful women with luxurious armpit hair
at which Karen’s mom sold quilts.
But I was always kept in at recess
for not running “fast enough” during the morning mile, and through the classroom window I saw
no prayer circles “reclaiming” (in my mom’s words “appropriating”) Isis, Diana, Freya, or Kali.
Séance attendance petered out after Fiona refused to explain how she died
“at school” in our classroom’s present-day location
when her self-reported death date implied attendance at the school in its former location,
before it burned down.
Some followers suspected that the fire was Fiona’s revenge,
although our teacher, a town history enthusiast, disputed this theory.
Classmates resumed their gay-bashing of a heterosexual, conveniently diverting them from
noticing my sketches of Catherine Zeta-Jones topless.








Jenny Irizary grew up in a cabin in the woods along Northern California's Russian River, the only Swede-Rican for miles. She holds a B.A. in Ethnic Studies and an M.A. in literature from Mills College. Read her stories about befriending ghosts and retracing her family's Diasporas HERE

Angelina Fernandez

Angelina Fernandez control my dreams (2014)
Digital collage, 1080 x 720 px

Forrest Evans

Pining for Persephone

1.

Love is a dog from hell
I forgot to stop feeding.
But there are worse evils—
like bored, southern Christians.
You can’t be free and
happy all at the same time.

Hell is largely filled with the
believers, conquerors, and the retired.
“The heat shouldn’t scare
you as much as the critters.”
But no one thinks of the
dew after the fog or
the moist spot after sex
as lovely or poetic.

She is a breed I should have
walked past or shooed with the flies.
Instead, I love a woman, a Persephone,
meant to spend half a life in hell.
Please, save me— I am
choosing to be here and
she no longer is in the south.

Please, someone find my
letter on the radio.
It is not too late to sing about me.
Regardless of the heat,
there are no flames here.
Only the dogs sneak out
for affection and company—
I wonder why.


2.

Every time my heart pains
it rains on a tiny town in
Tennessee. Franklin, I think.
And I am truly sorry to the
people there. Somewhere,
between secretly wanting to make
love to her and forgetting to
feed the cat— I miss her. I know
that doesn’t make sense now.
But to me, the forecast
is terrible. Some days
are mild and dry, and
for others, it storms for days.
And now, I don’t know why.

Every flicker of the heart,
every bloody little flicker.
There is nothing they can do.
Some of it is magic,
and for the rest, it’s dust.
Whether the sun is high or
the rain beats down
on their gardens—
The people of Franklin are
always ready for the worst,
the present or the pleasant.
They, too, are waiting for a
better season of weather or love.


3.

“I have to be protective.”

The safest way to show I miss you
is by buying your favorite ice cream
that I don't care for. You're not here
and this Riesling has instigated
too much. The ice cream is alright,
though it's trivial because
I secretly think I may like it.
It's not what I desire waiting at home.
I thought we'd do that for one another.

The ice cream and guilt,
I eat it with chocolate, confusion
or lonely with long Harryhausen films.
“You have to be more attentive.”
I have to before the ice and broccoli
become too old sitting next to a reminder.
Soon the peas will again recite,
“What is last year's snow to me,
Last year's anything?”
And most of us don't like peas
so it's excusable and cute.

I so achingly want to come home
and leave the world at the door;
as young lovers have laid
plighting troth beneath love’s snow.
Truly, what is last year’s snow to me,
last year’s anything?
I’m holding on to the existence of
this ice cream and always having it.
It always feels nice to have something
of you waiting at home.
No matter how cold and brief;
no matter how much or little it is of you.


4.

She’s talking about saving her soul
and reasons to vote years ago.
I want to watch her rub grease
on her scalp and talk “work bullshit,”
and how if I don’t take out the kitchen
trash it will reflect my choices.
“If you ain’t never had it,
how do you know your dreams
aren’t hallucinations?”

You can’t be happy
or horny all the time.
I truly wanted to ask her to spend
the night for the rest of her life.
But she’s too worried about
what will happen after life.
You can’t talk a southern woman
into taking a Riesling over sugar cane.
Whatever they do after life, she
is more concerned with.
And to a degree, I am too, not at this
moment. I choice all of it
to be colored with her.

The dead will always be more.
They all mean more than the living.
I love a woman dying to be free,
dying to be loved— in her way.
That’s too bad; I’ve sworn off masses
for the unborn and any similar rituals.
My love is alive and not for that magic.







Forrest Evans writes short stories and poems, and works as a librarian in Georgia and Alabama. She recently received her B.A. in English from Fort Valley State University and is a graduate student at The University of Alabama. “Pining for Persephone” is her first publication.

Imani Shanklin Roberts

Imani Shanklin Roberts, Black & Gold (c. 2014) 
mixed media: acrylic, gold leaf & marker 16 x 16 in.

Charlotte Mew

There shall be no night there
                                                 In the Fields

Across these wind-blown meadows I can see
     The far off glimmer of the little town,
     And feel the darkness slowly shutting down
To lock from day’s long glare my soul and me.
     Then through my blood the coming mystery
Of night steals to my heart and turns my feet
Toward that chamber in the lamp-lit street,
     Where waits the pillow of thy breast and thee.

‘There shall be no night there’ —no curtained pane
     To shroud love’s speechlessness and loose thy hair
For kisses swift and sweet as falling rain.
     No soft release of life—no evening prayer.
     Nor shall we waking greet the dawn, aware
That with the darkness we may sleep again.




Absence

Sometimes I know the way
     You walk, up over the bay;
It is a wind from the far sea
That blows the fragrance of your hair to me.

Or in this garden when the breeze
     Touches my trees
To stir their dreaming shadows on the grass
     I see you pass.

In sheltered beds, the heart of every rose
     Serenely sleeps tonight. As shut as those
Your guarded heart; as safe as they from the beat, beat
Of hooves that tread dropped roses in the street.

          Turn never again
          On these eyes blind with a wild rain
     Your eyes; they were stars to me.—
          There are things stars may not see.

But call, call, and though Christ stands
     Still with scarred hands
Over my mouth, I must answer. So
I will come—He shall let me go!




Smile, Death

Smile, Death, see I smile as I come to you
     Straight from the road and the moor that I leave behind,
Nothing on earth to me was like this wind-blown space,
Nothing was like the road, but at the end there was a vision or a face
          And the eyes were not always kind.

     Smile, death, as you fasten the blades to my feet for me,
On, on let us skate past the sleeping willows dusted with snow;
Fast, fast down the frozen stream, with the moor and the road and the vision behind,
     (Show me your face, why the eyes are kind!)
And we will not speak of life or believe in it or remember it as we go.




Not for That City

Not for that city of the level sun,
     Its golden streets and glittering gates ablaze—
     The shadeless, sleepless city of white days,
White nights, or nights and days that are as one—
We weary, when all is said, all thought, all done.
     We strain our eyes beyond this dusk to see
     What, from the threshold of eternity
We shall step into. No, I think we shun
The splendour of that everlasting glare,
   The clamour of that never-ending song.
   And if for anything we greatly long,
It is for some remote and quiet stair
     Which winds to silence and a space for sleep
     Too sound for waking and for dreams too deep.




My Heart is Lame

My heart is lame with running after yours so fast
                    Such a long way,
Shall we walk slowly home, looking at all the things we passed
                    Perhaps to-day?

Home down the quiet evening roads under the quiet skies,
                    Not saying much,
You for a moment giving me your eyes
                    When you could bear my touch.

But not to-morrow. This has taken all my breath;
                    Then, though you look the same,
There may be something lovelier in Love’s face in death
As your heart sees it, running back the way we came;
                    My heart is lame.




The Trees are Down

                   —and he cried with a loud voice:
                   Hurt not the earth, neither the sea, nor the trees—
                                                                               (Revelation)

They are cutting down the great plane-trees at the end of the gardens.
For days there has been the grate of the saw, the swish of the branches as they fall,
The crash of the trunks, the rustle of trodden leaves,
With the ‘Whoops’ and the ‘Whoas,’ the loud common talk, the loud common laughs of the men, above it all.

I remember one evening of a long past Spring
Turning in at a gate, getting out of a cart, and finding a large dead rat in the mud of the drive.
I remember thinking: alive or dead, a rat was a god-forsaken thing,
But at least, in May, that even a rat should be alive.

The week’s work here is as good as done. There is just one bough
   On the roped bole, in the fine grey rain,
             Green and high
             And lonely against the sky.
                   (Down now!—)
             And but for that,
             If an old dead rat
Did once, for a moment, unmake the Spring, I might never have thought of him again.

It is not for a moment the Spring is unmade to-day;
These were great trees, it was in them from root to stem:
When the men with the ‘Whoops’ and the ‘Whoas’ have carted the whole of the whispering loveliness away
Half the Spring, for me, will have gone with them.

It is going now, and my heart has been struck with the hearts of the planes;
Half my life it has beat with these, in the sun, in the rains,
             In the March wind, the May breeze,
In the great gales that came over to them across the roofs from the great seas.
             There was only a quiet rain when they were dying;
             They must have heard the sparrows flying,
And the small creeping creatures in the earth where they were lying—
             But I, all day, I heard an angel crying:
                      ‘Hurt not the trees.’




May, 1915

          Let us remember Spring will come again
To the scorched, blackened woods, where all the wounded trees
          Wait, with their old wise patience for the heavenly rain,
Sure of the sky: sure of the sea to send its healing breeze,
           Sure of the sun. And even as to these
                   Surely the Spring, when God shall please
Will come again like a divine surprise
To those who sit to-day with their great Dead, hands in their hands, eyes in their eyes,
At one with Love, at one with Grief: blind to the scattered things and changing skies.




Beside the Bed

Someone has shut the shining eyes, straightened and folded
           The wandering hands quietly covering the unquiet breast:
So, smoothed and silenced you lie, like a child, not again to be questioned or scolded:
           But, for you, not one of us believes that this is rest.

Not so to close the windows down can cloud and deaden
           The blue beyond: or to screen the wavering flame subdue its breath:
Why, if I lay my cheek to your cheek, your grey lips, like dawn, would quiver and redden,
           Breaking into the old, odd smile at this fraud of death.

Because all night you have not turned to us or spoken
           It is time for you to wake; your dreams were never very deep:
I, for one, have seen the thin bright, twisted threads of them dimmed suddenly and broken,
           This is only a most piteous pretense of sleep!




On the Road to the Sea

We passed each other, turned and stopped for half an hour, then went our way,
           I who make other women smile did not make you—
But no man can move mountains in a day.
           So this hard thing is yet to do.

But first I want your life:—before I die I want to see
                  The world that lies behind the strangeness of your eyes,
There is nothing gay or green there for my gathering, it may be,
                             Yet on brown fields there lies
A haunting purple bloom: is there not something in grey skies
                                           And in grey sea?
                  I want what world there is behind your eyes,
                  I want your life and you will not give it me.

            Now, if I look, I see you walking down the years,
            Young, and through August fields—a face, a thought, a swinging dream perched on a stile—;
            I would have liked (so vile we are!) to have taught you tears
                                          But most to have made you smile.

            To-day is not enough or yesterday: God sees it all—
Your length on sunny lawns, the wakeful rainy nights—; tell me—; (how vain to ask),
                             but it is not a question—just a call—;
Show me then, only your notched inches climbing up the garden wall,
                                          I like you best when you are small.

                                   Is this a stupid thing to say
                                   Not having spent with you one day?
                  No matter; I shall never touch your hair
                  Or hear the little tick behind your breast,
                                   Still it is there,
                                   And as a flying bird
                  Brushes the branches where it may not rest
                                   I have brushed your hand and heard
                  The child in you: I like that best

So small, so dark, so sweet; and were you also then too grave and wise?
                  Always I think. Then put your far off little hand in mine;—Oh! let it rest;
I will not stare into the early world beyond the opening eyes,
                 Or vex or scare what I love best.

                       But I want your life before mine bleeds away—
                             Here—not in heavenly hereafters—soon,—
                             I want your smile this very afternoon,
                       (The last of all my vices, pleasant people used to say,
                             I wanted and I sometimes got—the Moon!)

                             You know, at dusk, the last bird’s cry,
                       And round the house the flap of the bat’s low flight,
                             Trees that go black against the sky
                       And then—how soon the night!

                  No shadow of you on any bright road again,
And at the darkening end of this—what voice? whose kiss? As if you’d say!
                  It is not I who have walked with you, it will not be I who take away
                  Peace, peace, my little handful of the gleaner’s grain
                  From your reaped fields at the shut of day.

                             Peace! Would you not rather die
                  Reeling,—with all the cannons at your ear?
                             So, at least, would I,
                  And I may not be here
                  To-night, to-morrow morning or next year.
                  Still, I will let you keep your life a little while,
                             See dear?
                      I have made you smile.





Age 26, 1895

Charlotte Mew, an English poet born in 1869, died by her own hand in 1928, tormented and inconsolable, having lost her whole family to the cemetery or lunatic asylum. She lived in the repressive era of the Oscar Wilde trial and the obscenity trial for The Well of Loneliness, and her love for women was unrequited, and even publicly mocked. Apparently, Mew burned most of her poems. But Virigina Woolf wrote in response to Mew’s first book, The Farmer’s Bride (1916), that she is “unlike anyone else.” According to Eavan Boland, Mew’s words about Emily Brontë apply to Mew as well: “When first we read these songs, we are brought face to face with the woman who wrote them. And when once we know them and have been haunted by their rebellious and contending music it will not be possible to forget.”

Julie Franki and Rita Mae Reese

Julie Franki (2015). Illustration for The Book of Hulga by Rita Mae Reese, University of Wisconsin Press (2016).
Text by Rita Mae Reese from her poem The Margin is for the Holy Ghost.